


Take Me To Ram Ranch

by killu0tine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: "cowboys", "grant macdonald", "kinda NSFW but no sex", Everyone Is Gay, Gen, M/M, Mild Language, Song: Toxic (Britney Spears)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killu0tine/pseuds/killu0tine
Summary: Kuroo, Akaashi, and Bokuto are up late at night and look at stupid shit on Kuroo's phone
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 32





	Take Me To Ram Ranch

**Author's Note:**

> This is more like what I probably am gonna usually post. If shitposting and overly specific gay internet humour isn't your thing, you may not enjoy this hsjshdjdhd

Under the brutal conditions of the Tokyo training camp, the teams of Nekoma, Karasuno, and Fukurodani found common ground and bonds with each other. 

One night, Kuroo, ever the rebel, brought out his phone at some ungodly hour of the night. Most of the students were out like a light, absolutely dead from yesterday's activities. 

"Yooo! You all gotta see this!" he whispered loudly.

"Fuck off, Kuroo, I'm trying to sleep." said Tsukishima. He was, in fact, not trying to sleep. He was thinking about the best and most inconspicuous way to make out with Yamaguchi in the locker rooms. 

Kuroo made a fake pouty face. He turned to his right, saying, "Bokuto, Tsukki hurt my feelings." 

Bokuto slung a hand around his waist in sympathy, and Kuroo let his head rest on his shoulder. 

"Okay, so what is it you want to show us?" Akaashi said out of nowhere. He sat down in front of Kuroo and Bokuto. 

"Oh, yeah–" said Kuroo, scrolling through his phone 

_brooke candy - cum remix ft. SOPHIE, that's not it, Toxic by Britney Spears but you're doing coke in the bathroom at a party, Anthony Fantano Grimes review,_

"also not it," muttered Kuroo. 

"Holy shit dude I didn't know you were THIS gay." said Bokuto. 

Kuroo put him in a headlock. "You're LITERALLY my boyfriend, you brainless himbo fruit bowl." 

Akaashi was crying but in like a fake way like you'd see on KUWTK. "You are both so annoying!" he sniffed. 

Finally, Kuroo found it. _RAM RANCH - GRANT MACDONALD_

He touched it and made sure the volume was up enough to hear, but not enough to wake everyone up.

Or maybe that's exactly what he wanted. It'd be fun to get a reaction out of people like Tsukishima. And trying to convince Suga and Yaku not to snitch on you. 

The thundering music began. "EIGHTEEN NAKED COWBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RAM RANCH! BIG HARD THROBBING COCKS WANTING TO BE SUCKED!"

During seven minutes of hot steamy cowboy sex and Kuroo giggling uncontrollably, the song ended. 

Akaashi said, "Did he record that on a shitty gamer microphone from walmart" 

Bokuto's face was one of sincere shock. Tears fell from his eyes as he whispered, "Is this how straight men feel listening to Radiohead for the first time?"

 _later_

Bokuto and Akaashi walked into the changing room where the rest of their team were. 

"Guys." Bokuto said. "I have a new idea for our chant."


End file.
